Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage & relationship.

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, “How do I know if I married the right person?”
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, “It depends. Is that your husband?”
In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?”

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.

Here’s the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).

Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.
You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love… Because it’s happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.” Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, “Did I marry the right person?”
And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.
This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious.
But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.
I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else.
You could.

And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love. You have to “make” it day in and day out. That’s why we have the expression “the labor of love.” Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.
It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable… you can “make” love.

Love in marriage is indeed a “decision”… Not just a feeling.

Remember this always:

“God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.”

My view: I don’t think God determines who walks into our lives….. Its WE… YOU & ME ..Its the choices we make that determines OUR life!

I saw how discipline he study grammar book. He told me he’ll come to Thailand a couple of months before TEFL class started. So, we make a plan to do backpacking and travel around Thailand. The plan “gone” when he started getting to know a Thai girl a few months before he travel to Thailand. I don’t mind he has a girlfriend but I don’t understand why, when guys have a girlfriend…They started to stay away from their friend especially if they are opposite gender. I was mad but i tried to understand the situation.

Then, a few months ago….i was active in wayn and i had a guy who wanted to be in my friends list. I authorized him and we never chat or message each other until one day, he suddenly message me. I was shocked. We exchange msn & ym id. We can talk about everything and i had fun talking to him. He told me he will take a year off to travel round the world and i envy him. Travel is fun and seeing beautiful ancient building and learning new culture is amazing. He planned to come to Malaysia after june and i thought why not do backpacking in Borneo. We both study about Borneo and i did a lot research. He went to Spain with his brother 3 months ago. It suppose to be for a week but he extend it because he wanted to explore more. He went to Spain, Portugal, Paris and etc. What makes me mad to him because he didn’t keep in touch with me while he doing the travelling. I expect to receive a test or email from him telling about what’s happening there and update me but it didn’t happened. I know, our friendship won’t be the same again when he return. He went back to England a few days ago and we chat at 4am (malaysia time) this morning. He explained and apologized to me because he didn’t keep in touch with me while he’s travelling. I just laughed and i said to him “ It’s ok. It’s not a big deal for me”. He was shocked because he expected me to get mad since we were close. Yes, i was very mad but what’s the point?! His explanation is not important ANYMORE.

While writing this entry, my tears fall down……why am i cried? I treasure friendship and i realized people change easily due to stupid reason and they don’t know how to balance up their life, relationship & friendship. What i expect from Kim? I don’t want to lose him and i want to remain friends with him……forever. I hope he won’t make me cry……

Danny…….is one of my close friend remain since last year. He’s dating a Thai girl now and i hope we still remain friends and he didn’t shut me away. But if it’s happen, i should get to use with it,right? I’M COOL

Danny, thanks for being there when i need someone to talk and always cheer me up. You have wonderful ability to know when to offer advice and when to sit in quite support. Thanks for everything.