Cold feet?

I had good holidays with Paul from Indonesia to Cambodia. My skin getting so dark……My ex used to call me “Caramel” and I bet if he see me again, he’ll definitely call me “Mocha”. Seriously….even my family and my colleagues notice how bad my skin colour now.

I received my Fiancee visa (K1 visa) on December 3 and honestly, I’m beginning to have cold feet.  I love Paul so much but moving to other country and the fact that I know some of his “peoples” doesn’t like me bother me a lot. I don’t know if I can count on Paul. Is it worth to sacrifice my life over love? I’m scared….What if Paul cheat on me? Not that I don’t trust Paul but loads of married men cheated.

Have a look at this link. Percentage of married couples cheat ”According to Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, approximately 50 percent married women and 60 percent of married men will have an extramarital affair at some time in their marriage”. I come from broken family and all I want a happy relationship. I took marriage VERY serious.

Since I’m not a God, the only thing I can do now is have a faith in Paul. I really love Paul. He’s just different. He’s not a spoilt baby. He’s adventure, lovely, crazy and I learned a lot from him. Paul is the best partner that I ever had. Maybe I should move to US earlier than my original plan. Otherwise, I’ll start think negative (again) or finding an excuse why I shouldn’t leave Malaysia…………….